Time and again, I write about Yoruba culture so, I felt I knew enough to be an Alaga Ijoko/Iduro at a Yoruba engagement ceremony.  I read my co-authored book, Owanbe! Yoruba Celebrations of Life, researched on YouTube, and tied my sash. Showtime…

First challenge: I was the only Alaga so I had no one to play off of.  I had to bring it all – the drama, songs, dance, comedy, sass, etc.  Unlike the time I was a temporary alaga at a Yoruba/American ceremony, this one was in front of doyens of Yoruba culture. To call it intimidating is like calling a root canal a simple tooth extraction.

Second Challenge: Everyone knew ‘how it should be done.’ I start off with one song and a matron pulls me aside, “we should sing this song instead.”  And when I thought we could save the time waiting for the bride by reading the proposal letter, I was speedily corrected – “No! The bride must be present for the reading.” So, we waited.

Third Challenge:  All the songs I’d memorized from YouTube videos, flew from my mind.  Fortunately, “awon mama wa,” those veterans of engagement ceremonies, picked up the slack.  They sang, danced, and bantered back and forth.

Over all, I welcomed the nudges, hints, and critiques.  After all, if one of the groom’s egbon’s hadn’t pulled me aside to tell me to demand money before giving them the response to their letter, I wouldn’t have made $110 beyond my fees.  However, when the gentleman who gave the closing prayer forgot to pray for the food and another mummy nudged me to cover his omission, I said, “yes ma,” turned around and handed the mic back to the DJ.  I was done for the evening.

Take it from me, theory is easier than practice 😊